Animal House - Our Favorite Quotes

Ok, how many times have you been in the middle of a conversation and a line from Animal House would be so fitting to drop in? Ok, so now how many times were you in a conversation where slipping in an Animal House quote would be so inappropriate yet so freakin' awesome and hilarious that you have to tangle with the decision whether or not to use it? Of course that reminds you of the Devil and the Angel on Larry's shoulder when his date passes out, which makes you laugh and almost spit food out of your mouth. This of course makes you remember Bluto's imitation of a zit which then leads to an urge to scream out "Food Fight!"

Quoting this movie in a social setting is the equivalent of online dating. If you mention "Double Secret Probation" and no one responds, get the hell out of there. You are deep in the "Nerd Herd" and need to break away immediately. Leave them be to quote Monty Python and translate it into Klingonese.

On the other hand if someone does not correct you when you ask them, "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?", you've now got a friend. Many of my lasting friendships have begun and remained in tact only because of stupid and immature humor. Hell, we're dudes and we shouldn't have to apologize for being simple and shallow.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Animal House. Share them with your fellow dudes and lay a few down on some random strangers. Who knows, you may just meet a new bud!


Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon:  Face it, Kent. You threw up "on" Dean Wormer.

Neidermeyer: A PLEDGE PIN?!?! On your UNIFORM?!!
Neidermeyer: You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!
 (Gotta throw that in just for the classic Twisted Sister video)

Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation.
Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.

Otter: Hi, Eric Stratton, rush chairman. Damn glad to meet you.
Boon: Hi, that was Eric Stratton, rush chairman. He was damn glad to meet you.

Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?

Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.

Boon: Is he bigger than me?

 

Hoover: Kent is a legacy,
Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter, Boon: Like Fred.

Otter: You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

 

Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

 

Big Black Dudes at bar: Y'all mind if we dance with your dates?

 If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Otter: Leaving! What a good idea.
 

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Surf Nazis Must Die - Best Sports Movie Ever...well maybe not

Okay, I know that the words "best movie" of any sort probably with never be said along with Surf Nazis Must Die but I still love this movie. I just recently watched it again for the first time in like 20 years and I still have a great love for this film. I made my girlfriend's 11 year old son watch it with me and he said it was "Okay". Coming from an 11 year old that is huge and speaks volumes for this 80's cult classic.
This is one of those great films that critics loved to hate. True this is not cinematic greatness but it holds true to what it is trying to achieve...which isn't much other than to not over achieve. It's just a fun and crazy action movie with truly unique characters which could only come from the Troma guys.
In the right hands this would have been a masterpiece like the Warriors or the Lord's of Flatbush but that's OK. This is a true "Dude" kind of film that every guy should watch with his buds over a few beers. It's got violence, action, sports and BOOBIES!!!!! Now I've got your attention. If you enjoy wine spritzers with your gentleman friends then this movie probably isn't for you.Although I don't endorse any recreational marijuana use, I have "heard" it makes this movie that much more enjoyable. Just check it out on Net Flix and stop being a pansy!

 

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The Toxic Avenger - Fabulous or Feces?

Why would any one in their right mind waste valuable time on this obviously terrible movie? This film is loaded with bad acting, crappy fx and a story line that is plain ridiculous.

Then why have I watched it 100 times knowing how bad it is and loving every minute? The answer is obvious to us sick and slightly disturbed fans. A grotesque deformed super hero that wears a tutu and fights crime with a mop. That is pure brilliance! This is not your average pansy super hero fighting for truth, justice and the American way. Would Superman punch the testicles of Cigar Face like a punching bag and crush his goon's, Nipples and Knuckles, skulls in with a mop? I don't think so.

Ok, I know I could never convince a non-believer that this is a great movie but my opinion is shared by many. True, the acting is horrible but it I believe that is one of the high points of the movie. The old saying, "It's so bad that it's good" defiantly applies here. These actors aren't going for any awards but they do put their heart into their characters. Bozo is just over the top psycho and it is hilarious how he stresses out. From Melvin the Mop Boy to Nipples, the cast gives 100% into making bad acting comical and I think they pull it off brilliantly.

To go along with bad acting the is a more than healthy dose of bad special fx. Now how can I turn that negative statement into something positive about this movie? The answer is simple. This is a film that is very prideful of being bad and will not let you ignore their intent. When Toxie rips of a criminal's arm or pokes a goon's eyes out, it is almost like watching the Three Stooges...with a little more blood. Some times there is an over usage of blood so you can't tell what is going on but Troma stays on course by keeping every aspect of the film over the top.

Now we get to the story line. Critics have used many negative descriptions and a lot of profanity to describe this movie but I think they will all agree that they've never seen anything like it in 1984. It's a total garbage from front to back but they said the same thing about van Gogh in his day.

Whether you love it or hate it his film has a cult following more powerful than Jim Jones. The Toxic Avenger has led to 3 sequels, a musical and even a cartoon series for children. Hell, even Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering being in the remake. You just can deny that there is something truly remarkable about this beloved dog crap.

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Top 20 Classic 80's Arcade Games

1980's ARCADE CLASSIC - Top 20

The 1980s gave us many awesome and great things Mtv, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Spuds McKenzie. Unfortunately they also gave us Perfect Strangers, Kajagoogo and the feathered mullet. Even though we had to endure some bad hair and terrible music, it was a hell of an experience growing up in the 80’s arcades!

I know by today’s standards, these games are like comparing the careers of Johnny Deep’s to Richard Greeco’s. That still won’t prevent many of us from having the great memories of the 80’s video games and remembering that feeling of great triumph when you got to put your initials on the High Score board. For some reason all of the games in our town were dominated by the same guy with the initials A.S.S. I wonder if it was that high school kid who would always put his lite cigarette by the buttons and take a drag after he completed that level. Do you remember where you were when you first cleared enough Pac-Man levels to get to an intermission? Damn, good time but let’s get to our list. I’ve had a lot of trouble putting this in the correct order of awesomeness but I’m happy with my final decisions.

 

20. Zaxxon- This game was cool but it was like flying a space plane through an M.C. Esher painting. Trippy graphics for it’s time so it has to make the list.

19. Mr. Do - Was it a Dig Dug rip off? Well, kind of in just about every way except he could shoot something out of his hand so I guess that makes it completely different. Hey I like DIg Dug and liked this one to. Not every game can be totally original.

18. Centipede - Another cool and dangerous roller game. Still creeps me out for some reason because of that movie Human Centipede.

17. Missle Command - One tiny "+" sign agains a whole army of jagged lines coming down from the sky. It was actually a very terrifying alien invasion if you just visualize it in your head rather than looking at actual graphics on the screen.

16. Dig Dug - I think I was more of a fan of blowing up the creatures with a air pump than actually finishing a level. We used to try it on frogs with our bicycle pump bit didn’t work that well.

15. Any of the Pac-Man games. These are iconic and you just can’t leave them off a greatest hits list. I didn’t go crazy over them but I did play my fair share and download "Pac-Man Fever" to my ipod.

14. That X & O Footbal game- Do you remember that one with the roller ball. You’d be whipping that ball so fast and then the palm of your hand would get sucked up causing terrible pain and a nice blood blister. Things were always more fun when there was a sense of danger attached.

13. Donkey Kong - A true classic and great game but who the hell thought up this idea? I get the whole King Kong stealing the girl reference but throwing flamming barrels down steal beams at a stereotypical Italian plumber? Is that using creativity or using dope?

12. Q-Bert- Nothing complicated about this one. Just a cute creature jumping from one cube to the next. One joystick like Pac-Man but some how it was just very cool and unusual.

11. Pole Position- The classic driving game the was just bad ass. Teaching young impressional kids the rules of driving. Haul Ass as fast as you can but if you hit that sign your car will blow up. I’m a better driver because of it.

10. Defender-This was one for the truely skilled video game player. You had so many buttons and it went so fast that only the really stoned kids could pull it off.

9. Frogger- Who didn’t love Frogger? It was great for video game beginners but even the pros loved it. Even when you died you got to see your frog splatter across the road. That’s kind of heartless and evil now that I thik about it.

8. Burgertime - Man, did I spend a fortune playing this game. Making a giant hambuger was every kids dream. I never knew why the chef was afraid of the Hot Dogs and big pickles chasing him until I was forced to take community showers at summer camp.

7. Donkey Kong Jr- Yes this comes ahead of the original. Junior is trying to save Papa from they evil Pizza guy...or Italian plummer or whatever. Jumping from vine to vine avoiding the metal chomping robots and collecting fruit. I kicked ass at this game but of course no one cared. I was even better at Donkey Kong III but even less people cared about that one.

6. Track and Field - Who would’ve thought this boring ass sport would make such an awesome video game. Some prefered to use a pencil between the finger to help you run faster, but I would always whip out the plastic brush comb from my back pocket. Comb that feathered hair back and get down to business.

5. Galaga - Shooting space bugs...what else do I need to say? Brilliant! Of course there was always your stupid friend who’d let his space ship get captured by the bugs and not realize it was his last man.

4. Pit Fall - Yes, I’m going to the home Atari system and I’m sure you won’t disagree. Swinging from vines over lakes, jumping on aligators and giant scorpions...it was just like being in an Indiana Jones movie. That is if that movie was filmed on a $20 dollar budget...but still awesome!

3. Space Invaders - You can’t leave out this classic. Space Aliens marching down on you and dropping deadly turds all while doing some strange synchronized jazzercise routine.

2. Joust - A knight riding an ostrich fighting other knights riding buzzards. Wasn’t this a Monty Python sketch?

1. Dragon’s Lair - This game was too freaking awesome. It took 2 quarters to play but it was worth it. I never had the deep pockets to play this upscale game but would sit and watch other people for hours and live through them.

 

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I.R.S. "The Cutting Edge"

For those of you too young to remember...MTV used to actually play music videos and was focused on what was going on in the industry. Not focused on making greasy slime balls and spoiled immature sluts into celebrities.

I.R.S. The Cutting Edge aired on MTV from 1983-1987 and was on the last Sunday of the month. Some of my favorites featured on the show were The Alarm, The Smithereens, Hüsker Dü, Hoodoo Gurus and The Blasters to name a few. Although I didn't like some of the more trendy popular bands like The Cure, R.E.M., U2, or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I know, I know, I can hear your reactions now...."BOOO! You don't know what you're talking about" Like I was saying, there were some great bands and it was a great time watching these videos and listening to the interviews. Every time I watched an episode, I would be introduced to at least one or two great new bands. That was back before You Tube when you actually had to work at finding new sounds and artists. Of course this was in the olden days when singers actually sang without the aid of computer programs and musicians learned thier instruments. It seems like such a foreign concept today to have an actual live performance where the band sounds better live then they do on the manicured recording. 
If you want to see some of these old performances and interviews, the show has been released on DVD. Check it out. It will definately bring back some great memories.

One last thing before I leave...I HATE MORRISSEY ALSO!!!! The Ramones Rule!

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Urban Cowboy 1980's t-shirt

The new URBAN COWBOY t-shirt is here!
Remember the good old days before it was socially acceptable for two cowboys to have a romantic rendezvous on Brokeback Mountain? When real cowboys wore low cut shirts exposing their hairy chest and jeans so tight that you could see their religion. Those were the days when the real men spread their cheeks and sat down on a mechanical bull riding it like they wus voted queen of the County Jail social. Only true manly men could take an ass pounding like that. You gotta love this t-shirt as much as Bud loved Sissy and beer. This is a must for riding mechanical bulls or doing the 2-step at Gilley's.

This and many other disturbing t-shirts available at BLTees.

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Jeff Spicoli Fast Times at Ridgemont High t-shirt!

The coolest Fast Times at Ridgemont High t-shirt is here!
Hey Bud, Let's Party! How many famous quotes originated from this classic character? "My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it." "No Shirt, No Shoes....No DICE!" "Hey bud, what's your problem?" "People on 'ludes should not drive!" and the most influencial and inspiring word from Jeff Spicoli were "All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."
This was probably the most memorable and coolest film character of the 80's. He wasn't the smartest guy, you never saw him hook up with girls and he certainly didn't have a future ahead of him but every guy wanted to be Spicoli. Every time I wear this shirt people walk up to me and start quoting the movie. I do believe this is one of our best t-shirts because it is so much fun to wear. It's insane how a movie made back so long ago can still remain so close to so many.
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