Troma and other 80's Cult Movies

Doesn't it seem that every time you run a search for 80's movies you get the same old boring results? Pretty in Pink, The Karate Kid, or something terrible starring Corey and/or Corey.  Don't get me wrong, some of the popular films were very good but I've always felt the rare and obcure has more personality and more creativity.
The beauty of the cult movie is that it is not perfect by the Joe Public movie goer's guidelines. The films color totally out of the lines and go over the top. The characters are off the wall and the story lines are far fetched but they all came together to make a great film.
Here are a few of my favorite B-Movie / Cult Films of the 80's.


1. The Toxic Avenger. Tromaville has a monstrous new hero. The Toxic Avenger is born when mop boy Melvin Junko falls into a vat of toxic waste. Now evildoers beware!



2. Surf Nazis Must Die - When the grandson of a gun wielding woman is murdered by neo-nazi surf punks in the post-apocalyptic future, this grandma hunts them down for some bloodthirsty revenge.

 

 

 

3. Class of Nuke 'Em High - Tromaville High, like most high schools, is right next to a nuclear power plant. Nothing bad could come of this, could it?



4. Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. - Harry Griswald is a NYPD cop who is possessed with the spirit of a great Kabuki master. This has made him 'the chosen one' to do battle with 'the evil one'. He is also out to do good deeds and fight crime in the name of the law. The only problem is that a number of corrupt people in the community and their henchmen want him dead so that they can gain power when 'the evil one' come to take over the world. Sgt. Kabukiman must use his special superpowers to outsmart and out-fight the bad guys.


5. Killer Klowns From Outer Space - Very complicated plot. Aliens that look like clowns come down from outer space and kill people in a small town...ummm I guess the title sums it up.


6. Slumber Party Massacre II - A rock n roll Slasher flick. How cool is that? Courtney, the younger sister of the "new girl across the street" in the first film is all grown up now and suffers from nightmares from the events from the first film. She and her female rock group go to a condo for the weekend to play music and have fun with their boyfriends. Courtney's dreams are of her sister, who is in a mental institution, warning her about the killer, and the dreams begin to spill into real life, threatening Courtney and her friends.



7. Repo Man - The original punk rock classic cult film staring Emelio Esteveze.


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The Original Star Trek - Famous lines and how they came to be

"Beam Me Up, Scotty"

This was never actually spoken in any of the Star Trek television series or movies. The command was spoken as “Three to beam up” or  “Beam them up,”. "Beam us up, Scotty” appeared in a few episodes of the Star Trek animated series. The way this line came to be was from an old Bugs bunny cartoon in which Bugs is seen playing the bag pipes and talking in a Scottish accent while trying to annoy Marvin the Martian.

"I'm A Doctor, Not A..."
This famous line was first spoken during a first-season episode titled “The Devil in the Dark.” In that episode, McCoy let Kirk know that he was a doctor, not a brick-layer. During an earlier episode, McCoy asked Capt. Kirk, “What am I, a doctor or a moon-shuttle conductor?” Later in the season he spoke the full line that would later be heard in just about every series, as well as the Star Trek films.

"To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before..."
The opening narration for each episode of Star Trek: The Original Series was famously recited by William Shatner, but the actual origins of the line are uncertain. Some reports suggest that it was inspired by a 1958 White House press booklet promoting the space program. Others have thought that it came from a statement made by explorer James Cook following an expedition to Newfoundland. These are all great stories and were told to cover up the way it actually happened. While walking down the hall with a fellow writer, one of the them "accidentally" went into the ladies restroom. After realizing his mistake, he spoke the now famous line that he had gone where no man has gone before.

"Khaaannnn!"
Kirk's scream of rage originated in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Left marooned on a dead planet by the evil villain Khan, Kirk let loose with a primal roar—and the rest was viral-video history. On the first take, William Shatner mistakenly screamed out ROARKE!! Referring to the Ricardo Montalban character on Fantasy Island.

"Live Long and Prosper"
The Vulcan greeting and the hand gesture first appeared in the second season of Star Trek: The Original Series. Leonard Nimoy has made no secret of the fact that the gesture and phrase was his idea based on a Orthodox Jewish blessings. In the Jewish blessing, the fingers form the Hebrew letter “Shin,” which represents the name “Shaddai” (Almighty God). Nimoy made it his own by holding up just one hand (instead of both) and changing up the verbiage..

"Set Phasers To Stun"
In Star Trek: The Original Series the phasers used by the crew of USS Enterprise had a “stun” setting. Kirk and Spock often instructed their crew mates to use the non-lethal capabilities of their weapons. It wasn't until the second season of Star Trek: The Animated Series that Kirk issued the command “Set phasers to stun.” The line eventually became an often repeated order in the series. On a side note, this was the inspiration for the now famous stun gun. The first prototype was actually built to resemble the phaser. Backers of the project felt that it looked too much like a real firearm and wanted a less lethal look.

*Note: some of these 'facts' may not be true. True Trekkies can point them out. Just thought I would put in some fun jokes for you guys. Thanks for listening.


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AQUAMAN - A Uselss Hero???

Aquaman is more than the dolphin riding side show that we all saw him as on the 70's Super Friends TV show. He is a man who was at home both on land and in the sea, he fought a variety of menaces from super-villains to Nazis to sorcerers to beings from other planets and dimensions. He's fought alongside Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and others and has saved the planet on his own a few times.
Aquaman's telepathy can also influence non-aquatic life in subtle ways and does have super human strength.Bullets bounce off him, leaving only scratches. His senses are enhanced, his eyes able to see in complete darkness.

Much like the Bat Man TV show, the shows featuring Aquaman has made him more like a Dr. Doolittle in the minds of non-comic viewers. They portrait him as a joke and more like an animal trainer than a real super hero. Let's face it, once a hero reaches the big or small screen Hollywood has to put their take on it and they usually screw it up. Hell, in the Fantastic Four cartoon, they used a robot instead of The Human Torch. Producers were afraid kids would set themselves on fire to imitate him. Fact remains that Aquaman is a bad ass and no joke as a hero.

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Bat-Man - A Good Name Dragged Through Mud

Remember the good old days when the wealthy were the good guys and thier private lives were just that...private. The days when no one questioned why a single, handsome young bachelor would take in a cute innocent adolescent boy and make him wear those revealing tiny shorts. Back then you didn't question a man and young boy sliding down a pole together and appearing at the bottom with completely different attire. Is there anything suspicious about this older gentleman deveolping a machine that is able to quickly remove the clothing from young boys and himself at the same time? I find nothing at all disturbing with him contantly taking the child to a secret lair far below ground where only he and his creepy butler have access to.

 

It's a shame that a few thousand pedifiles have to spoil it for the one honorable guy. Thanks MJ & Jerry Sandusky. These were just two dudes doing the right thing. Shame on those who soil the good name of the Dark Knight! Shame on you!

 

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Power Puff Girls Villians - Racist Characterization

I have been watching several different televisions shows recently and am very upset that I haven't found any to be offensive. Being apart of the Politically Correct USA, this is what I live for as you know. Since I couldn't find anything that offended me I've decided to look even harder and make racist accusations towards the lovable Power Puff Girls. Why, you may ask. Because they are cute and loveable and everyone adores them...so that means they deserve it! There is no greater pleasure for a political correctness advocate, like myself, than pointing out the faults with someone or something that is loved by the public.

Let's start with Mojo Jojo. An Asian monkey speaking in the voice of an old Kung Fu movie, hell bent on world domination...RASICTS! How dare you portrait a character with ethnic traits. We should all be viewed as coming from the same background, never ever giving any indication that we are different from one another. That is of course unless you are black and have a stereotypical big weiner. That's not a racist characteristic but tread lightly when asking an African American if he'd like an Orange soda.

HIM - Not really sure what this thing is but judging by the name, it is male. Okay, so he speaks in a very high voice, wears thigh high heeled boots, long eye lashes, make-up and female clothing. I see nothing wrong with that. Him is who him is but this is offensive to the transgendered. Why does this freak have to be a villian??? Why not a teacher or thier mother/father...or both. OFFENSIVE!!!!!

The Ganggreen Gang - This is an obvious shot at the lepers. News flash...the last leper colony closed in Greece in 1957. They are accepted now and walk among us. I myself love lepers and even have a leper friend. The other day I helped him glue his ear back on after it fell off. What are you afraid of world...a little leprosy never hurt anyone!

Fuzzy Lumpkins - A back woods, stupid redneck, who talks with a country slur and plays a banjo. He is obviously caucasin so he deserves criticism...Good job Power Puffs!

Note: This was written just in fun and not meant to offend in any way. If you were, no apology will be coming from me. Just advice...Lighten up. If you tense up your butthole for too long you will never poop again.

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1970's Battlestar Galactica Cylons - Were they just over weight Imperial Stormtroopers?

Ok for those who don't know, Cylons are the robots from 'Battlestar Galactica' who rule the Galaxy and have caused Genocide to humans except for a rag-tag group of ships searching out the planet Earth. Which according to legend has it may be home to more humans. Thus, they can lead the Cylons there and destroy them also.Hopefully I don't have to explain what Imperial Stormtroopers are.
Growing up as a boy in the 70's, you either played with your Star Wars action figures or you dressed up in your mother's clothing and tried on her make-up...Not that there is anything wrong with that of course! Anyways, I was a huge Star Wars fan with all the figures, posters, ect. My favorites were always the Stormtroopers. They were just so bad ass in their white armor walking around with everyone fearing them. When I dressed up as a Stormtrooper for Halloween, I walked around like I was as bad as they were and ready to take on anyone who crossed my path. That was until I had an accident in my pants and ran to my mother crying. Her advice to me that day will stay with me forever. She said, "Son, you know I love you but you are 17 years old and need to stop crapping in your pants."
Over the years I have heard many compare the Star Wars Stormtrooper to the Battlestar Galactica Cylon. One complaint I often hear is that BG ripped off Star Wars. There were similarities but I disagree. Of course there are going to be similarities. This is how we envisioned space adventurers of the future in the 70's. It went from silver jump suits and little green men in the 50's to feathered hair and testicle showing tights in the 70's.
Even though I have a special place in my heart for the Stormtrooper, I believe we can all still be friends. The Cylons were very mean, nasty and bad ass. They were scary dudes with those silver, super shiny helmets of theirs. How'd they manage to keep them so polished all of the time? I also remember them looking kind of fat and round also. The helmet design was incredibly well done but the body design lacked muscle tone. Who cares, right. We had Star Wars in the theatres and Battlestar Galactica on the TV. Those were some good times.

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CADDYSHACK - Timeless movie quotes

Not to sound cliche, but They Don't Make Them Like This Anymore! This is a 1980's classic can not be topped. Rodney Dangerfield was at the top of his game in this film. Chevy Chase and Bill Murray have never been funnier. Their ability to riff one-liners and develop side-splitting characters made Caddyshack one of the most quotable films of all time.

Below are some of my favorite quotes from this movie. I hope you enjoy.

Carl Spackler: Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a miracle... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

Al Czervik: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Carl Spackler: Freeze Gopher!

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!
Carl Spackler: Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...

Spalding Smails: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.

Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
[looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat]...Oh, it looks good on you though.

Al Czervik: You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

Carl Spackler: This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

Ty Webb: Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy.

Dr. Beeper: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
Ty Webb: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.

Ty Webb: Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left

Al Czervik: Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

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Marvel Comics 70's & 80's Style - When We Were Kids

Marvel Comics heroes have always held a special place in my heart ever since I was a kid in the 70's and 80's . I remember waking up extra early to see these horribly made cartoons of my favorite Marvel Super Heroes. Half of the show was one cell being pushed around the screen to make it look like they were fighting of flying. I may have even knew they were poorly made back then but I didn't care. These were my heroes. I even love the psychedelic Spider-Man episodes. The first time I saw the X-Men was on an episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. I always wondered if Ice- Man got embarrassed because everyone saw him in his undies. It's a good thing his junk was covered in ice or there might have been another embarrassing situation come up hanging around Firestar in that tight and revealing suit...Whoa! She was hot!

I remember 7-11 was giving away exclusive Marvel Comics Slurpee cups. Each cup had a different hero on it and I wanted them all. I had an extremely cheap father who could stretch a penny around the block so we rarely got an sorts of extras or treats. One day after baseball practice he took us to 7-11 and actually bought us a Slurpee. I was so excited that I could hardly make up my mind which cup I wanted. Do I want Captain America throwing his mighty shield or maybe the hammer-wielding God, Thor but wait...Spider-Man The Amazing Web-Crawler that does whatever a spider can. How shall I ever make my decision???!?! You could hear the Sad Trombone play the "Wah Wah Wahhhhh" as the clerk handed me the only cup they had...Howard the Duck. I remember muttering something that sounded like "Duck" but it wasn't "Duck".

We had our door wallpapered with Marvel Comics stickers, had the vinyl Spider Man record player, pillow cases, bed sheets and all the toys that would be worth millions if we didn't burn them or tie them to a stake and sacrifice them to an ant hill. Man, what I wouldn't do to have those back.

I did read the comics but being an artist my love was for the characters themselves more than following the story lines. The 70's and 80's style of Marvel will always be how I feel these characters should look. Now they've changed so much and Hollywood has all but turned them into comedians and taken away their true personalities. I guess we've got to let go, watch our beloved characters evolve and watch the big guys make another buck.

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Animal House - Our Favorite Quotes

Ok, how many times have you been in the middle of a conversation and a line from Animal House would be so fitting to drop in? Ok, so now how many times were you in a conversation where slipping in an Animal House quote would be so inappropriate yet so freakin' awesome and hilarious that you have to tangle with the decision whether or not to use it? Of course that reminds you of the Devil and the Angel on Larry's shoulder when his date passes out, which makes you laugh and almost spit food out of your mouth. This of course makes you remember Bluto's imitation of a zit which then leads to an urge to scream out "Food Fight!"

Quoting this movie in a social setting is the equivalent of online dating. If you mention "Double Secret Probation" and no one responds, get the hell out of there. You are deep in the "Nerd Herd" and need to break away immediately. Leave them be to quote Monty Python and translate it into Klingonese.

On the other hand if someone does not correct you when you ask them, "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?", you've now got a friend. Many of my lasting friendships have begun and remained in tact only because of stupid and immature humor. Hell, we're dudes and we shouldn't have to apologize for being simple and shallow.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Animal House. Share them with your fellow dudes and lay a few down on some random strangers. Who knows, you may just meet a new bud!


Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon:  Face it, Kent. You threw up "on" Dean Wormer.

Neidermeyer: A PLEDGE PIN?!?! On your UNIFORM?!!
Neidermeyer: You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!
 (Gotta throw that in just for the classic Twisted Sister video)

Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation.
Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.

Otter: Hi, Eric Stratton, rush chairman. Damn glad to meet you.
Boon: Hi, that was Eric Stratton, rush chairman. He was damn glad to meet you.

Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?

Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.

Boon: Is he bigger than me?

 

Hoover: Kent is a legacy,
Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter, Boon: Like Fred.

Otter: You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

 

Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

 

Big Black Dudes at bar: Y'all mind if we dance with your dates?

 If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Otter: Leaving! What a good idea.
 

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Surf Nazis Must Die - Best Sports Movie Ever...well maybe not

Okay, I know that the words "best movie" of any sort probably with never be said along with Surf Nazis Must Die but I still love this movie. I just recently watched it again for the first time in like 20 years and I still have a great love for this film. I made my girlfriend's 11 year old son watch it with me and he said it was "Okay". Coming from an 11 year old that is huge and speaks volumes for this 80's cult classic.
This is one of those great films that critics loved to hate. True this is not cinematic greatness but it holds true to what it is trying to achieve...which isn't much other than to not over achieve. It's just a fun and crazy action movie with truly unique characters which could only come from the Troma guys.
In the right hands this would have been a masterpiece like the Warriors or the Lord's of Flatbush but that's OK. This is a true "Dude" kind of film that every guy should watch with his buds over a few beers. It's got violence, action, sports and BOOBIES!!!!! Now I've got your attention. If you enjoy wine spritzers with your gentleman friends then this movie probably isn't for you.Although I don't endorse any recreational marijuana use, I have "heard" it makes this movie that much more enjoyable. Just check it out on Net Flix and stop being a pansy!

 

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The Toxic Avenger - Fabulous or Feces?

Why would any one in their right mind waste valuable time on this obviously terrible movie? This film is loaded with bad acting, crappy fx and a story line that is plain ridiculous.

Then why have I watched it 100 times knowing how bad it is and loving every minute? The answer is obvious to us sick and slightly disturbed fans. A grotesque deformed super hero that wears a tutu and fights crime with a mop. That is pure brilliance! This is not your average pansy super hero fighting for truth, justice and the American way. Would Superman punch the testicles of Cigar Face like a punching bag and crush his goon's, Nipples and Knuckles, skulls in with a mop? I don't think so.

Ok, I know I could never convince a non-believer that this is a great movie but my opinion is shared by many. True, the acting is horrible but it I believe that is one of the high points of the movie. The old saying, "It's so bad that it's good" defiantly applies here. These actors aren't going for any awards but they do put their heart into their characters. Bozo is just over the top psycho and it is hilarious how he stresses out. From Melvin the Mop Boy to Nipples, the cast gives 100% into making bad acting comical and I think they pull it off brilliantly.

To go along with bad acting the is a more than healthy dose of bad special fx. Now how can I turn that negative statement into something positive about this movie? The answer is simple. This is a film that is very prideful of being bad and will not let you ignore their intent. When Toxie rips of a criminal's arm or pokes a goon's eyes out, it is almost like watching the Three Stooges...with a little more blood. Some times there is an over usage of blood so you can't tell what is going on but Troma stays on course by keeping every aspect of the film over the top.

Now we get to the story line. Critics have used many negative descriptions and a lot of profanity to describe this movie but I think they will all agree that they've never seen anything like it in 1984. It's a total garbage from front to back but they said the same thing about van Gogh in his day.

Whether you love it or hate it his film has a cult following more powerful than Jim Jones. The Toxic Avenger has led to 3 sequels, a musical and even a cartoon series for children. Hell, even Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering being in the remake. You just can deny that there is something truly remarkable about this beloved dog crap.

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Top 20 Classic 80's Arcade Games

1980's ARCADE CLASSIC - Top 20

The 1980s gave us many awesome and great things Mtv, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Spuds McKenzie. Unfortunately they also gave us Perfect Strangers, Kajagoogo and the feathered mullet. Even though we had to endure some bad hair and terrible music, it was a hell of an experience growing up in the 80’s arcades!

I know by today’s standards, these games are like comparing the careers of Johnny Deep’s to Richard Greeco’s. That still won’t prevent many of us from having the great memories of the 80’s video games and remembering that feeling of great triumph when you got to put your initials on the High Score board. For some reason all of the games in our town were dominated by the same guy with the initials A.S.S. I wonder if it was that high school kid who would always put his lite cigarette by the buttons and take a drag after he completed that level. Do you remember where you were when you first cleared enough Pac-Man levels to get to an intermission? Damn, good time but let’s get to our list. I’ve had a lot of trouble putting this in the correct order of awesomeness but I’m happy with my final decisions.

 

20. Zaxxon- This game was cool but it was like flying a space plane through an M.C. Esher painting. Trippy graphics for it’s time so it has to make the list.

19. Mr. Do - Was it a Dig Dug rip off? Well, kind of in just about every way except he could shoot something out of his hand so I guess that makes it completely different. Hey I like DIg Dug and liked this one to. Not every game can be totally original.

18. Centipede - Another cool and dangerous roller game. Still creeps me out for some reason because of that movie Human Centipede.

17. Missle Command - One tiny "+" sign agains a whole army of jagged lines coming down from the sky. It was actually a very terrifying alien invasion if you just visualize it in your head rather than looking at actual graphics on the screen.

16. Dig Dug - I think I was more of a fan of blowing up the creatures with a air pump than actually finishing a level. We used to try it on frogs with our bicycle pump bit didn’t work that well.

15. Any of the Pac-Man games. These are iconic and you just can’t leave them off a greatest hits list. I didn’t go crazy over them but I did play my fair share and download "Pac-Man Fever" to my ipod.

14. That X & O Footbal game- Do you remember that one with the roller ball. You’d be whipping that ball so fast and then the palm of your hand would get sucked up causing terrible pain and a nice blood blister. Things were always more fun when there was a sense of danger attached.

13. Donkey Kong - A true classic and great game but who the hell thought up this idea? I get the whole King Kong stealing the girl reference but throwing flamming barrels down steal beams at a stereotypical Italian plumber? Is that using creativity or using dope?

12. Q-Bert- Nothing complicated about this one. Just a cute creature jumping from one cube to the next. One joystick like Pac-Man but some how it was just very cool and unusual.

11. Pole Position- The classic driving game the was just bad ass. Teaching young impressional kids the rules of driving. Haul Ass as fast as you can but if you hit that sign your car will blow up. I’m a better driver because of it.

10. Defender-This was one for the truely skilled video game player. You had so many buttons and it went so fast that only the really stoned kids could pull it off.

9. Frogger- Who didn’t love Frogger? It was great for video game beginners but even the pros loved it. Even when you died you got to see your frog splatter across the road. That’s kind of heartless and evil now that I thik about it.

8. Burgertime - Man, did I spend a fortune playing this game. Making a giant hambuger was every kids dream. I never knew why the chef was afraid of the Hot Dogs and big pickles chasing him until I was forced to take community showers at summer camp.

7. Donkey Kong Jr- Yes this comes ahead of the original. Junior is trying to save Papa from they evil Pizza guy...or Italian plummer or whatever. Jumping from vine to vine avoiding the metal chomping robots and collecting fruit. I kicked ass at this game but of course no one cared. I was even better at Donkey Kong III but even less people cared about that one.

6. Track and Field - Who would’ve thought this boring ass sport would make such an awesome video game. Some prefered to use a pencil between the finger to help you run faster, but I would always whip out the plastic brush comb from my back pocket. Comb that feathered hair back and get down to business.

5. Galaga - Shooting space bugs...what else do I need to say? Brilliant! Of course there was always your stupid friend who’d let his space ship get captured by the bugs and not realize it was his last man.

4. Pit Fall - Yes, I’m going to the home Atari system and I’m sure you won’t disagree. Swinging from vines over lakes, jumping on aligators and giant scorpions...it was just like being in an Indiana Jones movie. That is if that movie was filmed on a $20 dollar budget...but still awesome!

3. Space Invaders - You can’t leave out this classic. Space Aliens marching down on you and dropping deadly turds all while doing some strange synchronized jazzercise routine.

2. Joust - A knight riding an ostrich fighting other knights riding buzzards. Wasn’t this a Monty Python sketch?

1. Dragon’s Lair - This game was too freaking awesome. It took 2 quarters to play but it was worth it. I never had the deep pockets to play this upscale game but would sit and watch other people for hours and live through them.

 

This list has been sponsored by B.L.Tees where you can find some of these classic games t-shirts. These and many more are available at....
***This Just In...More Styles are coming in...More Dragon's Lair and Space Ace on www.BLTEESHIRT.com!!!

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I.R.S. "The Cutting Edge"

For those of you too young to remember...MTV used to actually play music videos and was focused on what was going on in the industry. Not focused on making greasy slime balls and spoiled immature sluts into celebrities.

I.R.S. The Cutting Edge aired on MTV from 1983-1987 and was on the last Sunday of the month. Some of my favorites featured on the show were The Alarm, The Smithereens, Hüsker Dü, Hoodoo Gurus and The Blasters to name a few. Although I didn't like some of the more trendy popular bands like The Cure, R.E.M., U2, or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I know, I know, I can hear your reactions now...."BOOO! You don't know what you're talking about" Like I was saying, there were some great bands and it was a great time watching these videos and listening to the interviews. Every time I watched an episode, I would be introduced to at least one or two great new bands. That was back before You Tube when you actually had to work at finding new sounds and artists. Of course this was in the olden days when singers actually sang without the aid of computer programs and musicians learned thier instruments. It seems like such a foreign concept today to have an actual live performance where the band sounds better live then they do on the manicured recording. 
If you want to see some of these old performances and interviews, the show has been released on DVD. Check it out. It will definately bring back some great memories.

One last thing before I leave...I HATE MORRISSEY ALSO!!!! The Ramones Rule!

This and many other disturbing t-shirts available at BLTees.

http://stores.ebay.com/B-L-Tees
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Let us know what you'd like to see on a tee!